This week so many people have been reaching out to me, asking how I am, etc. before surgery Thursday. It is hard to explain in a few words the process. I was diagnosed almost six weeks ago and I had three weeks to wait after getting the surgery date. Some people were kind of frustrated by that (waiting so long) and asked me if I was upset. At first I was kind of frustrated but then came to the realization that I had already handed this over to God and I just needed to continue doing that. God's timing is always perfect.
I decided that we were going to be "better than normal" for the few weeks until surgery. By that I mean do lots of fun things, go on some field trips hang out with friends and family as much as possible, and that's what we did! It was so nice to be around all of the people that feel so invested in this with us and are there to support us but also not have to talk about this too much and just enjoy every minute of it.
There are times when fear and anxiety try to creep in, but with God's help I just shut that door and don't go down that road. This is our story, and our story is going to have a different ending than some others that I have heard. I have been reading the Psalms because they offer such encouragement. I was thinking about all of these things the other day and then read Psalm 5 and the end of the psalm stood out Psalm 5:11-12:
"But let all those rejoice who put their trust in you; Let them ever shout for joy because You defend them; Let those also who love your name be joyful in you. For you, O Lord, will bless the righteous; With favor You will surround him as with a shield."
This speaks volumes into my situation. I have prayed that God would guide the surgery and I have a vision of God hovering over me and protecting me through surgery and everything that is to follow, shielding me.
It seems that in the moments that I feel vulnerable or that I start to feel down that God provides me with someone, the angels on Earth that help me. It is my friends calling to say "Hi" or ask us over to play. It is the song or verse that someone sends, it is my kids coming to give me a big hug or kiss for no apparent reason. It is our friend from church calling about setting up meals. It is a friend who calls to say they have a freezer for us to put all of those meals in! Amazing blessings and love pouring into our family sent from God above through you!
I want to share a couple of things that especially stood out this week. My new friend Jen, who is an amazing photographer, came to take our family pics up at on relatives beautiful land and the series of pics is called "Milkweed Magic." It was such a nice and special time. My daughter, who is usually SO difficult to take a picture of was captivated by "chasing faries" in the milkweed with Jen. When said our goodbyes and got in the car to head off to Friendly's My daughter said "Mama, I think I made a new friend!" It was so cute. Jen just wanted to "pay it forward" and do something nice, and it was amazing! I am looking forward to paying it forward after being so inspired! I hope you enjoy the pics :-)
I asked my friend Sara about some worship music that she would recommend listening to, because that totally makes my day and she posted this link on my facebook page which made me cry, in a good way. It totally has been stuck in my head and is keeping my mind where it needs to be! It is nice to be flooded with tears that come from being filled to bursting with love that is heaven sent! This woman has an amazing voice as well!! Check it out...
So to bring this post full circle, the title that Alissa so appropriately suggested "Fueled By Love" isn't just a cool name, it is such a reality right now.
Just so you know, Nate will post the evening after surgery to let everyone know what's going on!!
Love you all...thanks for everything!